How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners?
Pose the following question: You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids, what is their opinion?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Would counseling help the victim, err perpetrator?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click … (sounds of reloading).
Wife: “Hun, he looks like he’s still moving, whadda y’all kids think?“
Son: “Mama’s right Daddy, I saw it, too.”
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: “Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?”
The intent here is not to offend, but just to show what can happen. Obviously, the Southerner’s answer is way off base, but I tell this joke to show that they are times you have to act decisively. One of those times is when an opposing pitcher hits your guys twice in the head! BANG!!! When I read stuff that morons like Bill Plaschke of The LA Times write, it makes me want to puke. Growing up, I never was in a fight… except with a bully and I learned quickly that if you hit a bully in the mouth, they leave you alone, but if you are kind to them they keep preying on you. Ian Kennedy and the D-Bags are bullies and you have to treat bullies decisively – BANG!