You are hated almost as bad as… well you know who. You have no BIS (that’s “butts in seats”), which means that you are losing hundreds of thousands of dollars a game and you haved a short time to make something happen to change that. MLB is plotting your demise. The fans are rejoicing in it. The press is crucifying you on every page and even that guy at LAdodgerTalk who people said (wrongfully) supported you is now calling for your head.
If you are Frank, you know that insanity is doing the same thing and thinking you will get different results. Frank doesn’t have much hope, but there is one crazy, way-out, wild thing that he might be able to do to turn this thing around – QUICK!
This plan would have to be bold and executed quickly. Here’s my 5-Step Plan for Frank to turn this around:
- Fire Ned Colletti (that’s a given) – How would this lineup look with Carlos Santana and James McDonald right about now?
- Name Logan White interim GM.
- Trade Juan Uribe to the Giants for a prospect (hey, it’s not my idea – others are reporting it).
- Trade that prospect, Dee Gordon, Trayvon Robinson and Chris Withrow to the Mets for Carlos Beltran and Jose Reyes (Bud’s buddy Fred could use the salary relief and the Dodgers have prospects the Mets need).
- Send James Loney to Seattle for Chone Figgins.
This would be the Dodgers’ lineup then:
- Reyes SS
- Figgins 3B
- Furcal 2B
- Kemp CF
- Ethier RF
- Beltran LF
- Sands 1B
- Barajas/Navarro/Ellis C
Devastating speed at the top. Raffy doesn’t have to steal. Figgins would bloom back in LA. Ethier would do well in front of Beltran (who can still hit) and Sands should hold his own.
Exciting baseball returns to LA. The Dodgers start winning. Butts are put in seats and every fan returns (except Badger who became a D-Back’s fan).
What? Huh? Oh! OK… now I’m awake…. who wrote that?
Of course MLB could say “NO!”
Correction: “Would” say NO!