Categorized | Mark Timmons

The Economy Is So Bad That…

The Economy Is So Bad That…

I read this a year ago, but it’ still true:
1.  I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
2.  I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”
3.  CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
4.  If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
5.  Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
6.  McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
7.  Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names..
8.  A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
9.  Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
10. Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.
11. The Mafia is laying off judges.
12. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
13. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
14. I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

… slow news day, so lighten up!

About Mark Timmons

When you see the invisible, you can do the impossible!

14 Responses to “The Economy Is So Bad That…”

  1. Roger Dodger says:

    Interesting Mark.

    But I hear that corp’s are making big profits right now. Business is up. Wall Street just gave themselve hugh bonuses.

    Citi Bank and others are opening jobs — but, but these new jobs are in India.

    And the American middle class guy and gal looking for better employment is taking it in the shorts —

    The White House is suggesting to corp’s to bring back some of their products to be made here in the US, and give them 2 years of paying no taxes — but, but the Republicans voted NO, because they want to defeat Obama and his kind no matter what it costs.

  2. Badger says:

    Well Roger, what Mark just posted was written when the Republicans were in office.

    Yeah, it is still bad, I’ll grant you that. What I want to know is, when did 51 no longer become the majority? Barry, screw ‘em. Take your horse to the finish line without them. I am tired of using the Party of No as an excuse.

  3. lawdog says:

    The McGoo fiasco has come to this:

    The Daily News’ Tom Hoffarth explains:
    The recent very public divorce proceedings embarrassed Angelenos to no end. Despite doing a lot of stadium renovation and laying out plans for more mini-mall-like expansion, the McCourts’ ultimate treatment of the team, the city and its fans appears to be a pretty clear-cut case of L.A. identity theft. And we want it back.


    Janice Hahn, the L.A. city councilwoman whose family investment in the Dodgers goes back to rolling out the blue carpet for the team when it arrived in 1958, has already stepped up.

    Hahn issued a press release Oct. 1, calling on the U.S. Congress to reconsider the “Give Fans A Chance Act,” something that Earl Blumenauer, D-Ore., has proposed at least twice in the past decade, but could not get passed.


    She also emphasizes that this isn’t proposing that the cash-strapped city buy the team, or that tax money be used.

  4. Badger says:

    I read that thread too ldog. Did you check out the comments below it? This one hit home and is one I am sure you can relate to:

    “The McCourts are doing to the Dodgers, what the Yorks have done to the 49ers, and what Georgia Frontiere did to the Rams…made them a laughing stock. Nobody benefits from that.”

    Looks like we have a home plate ump that not only adds 6″ to the outside of the plate, he can’t count to three.


    : The Dodgers and Ted Lilly are close to agreeing on a three-year contract, tweets Ken Rosenthal of An announcement could come as soon as Tuesday or Wednesday of next week.

  6. GOTTA LOVE IT!!! Kershaw, Billz and Lilly……is Kuroda next? Take that all you negative nellies!!!!

  7. Brooklyn Dodger says:

    I also saw it. And it’s going to take more than Lilly to satisfy me. Without knowing the terms of the deal, I’m not sure if I like it or not. As I’ve posted in the past, Lilly is not a pitcher I’m in love with. Too many fly balls from a pitcher with less than overpowering stuff. The consequence, of course, is too many HRs surrendered. I see Lilly at best as a middle of the rotation pitcher, and that’s at best. I don’t want to think of the worst. Hopefully, at 35 next season, he won’t show any signs of decline. He pitched OK for the Dodgers, and hopefully that will continue. But really, I think we need better following Kershaw and Billingsley.

    Now that that’s done, let’s see if the Dodgers are willing to part with the really big bucks, and add an impact bat. And of course, there are two more spots in the rotation to fill, either through free agency, trade or from the farm system, or a combination of the aforesaid means.

    • He pitched ok?? He was 7-4 with a mid 3′s ERA, a WHIP under 1 and a K/9 of 9!!! That’s better than a middle of a rotation pitcher. He is a flyball pitcher who will pitch in a ballpark where homeruns die!!!

      • Nellie says:

        Sounds good to me.

        But if he maintains a mid 3 ERA with a 0.99 WHIP next year I will eat my socks – after my morning run.

        He finished the year with a sub .500 record and a 3.62 ERA. I got him finishing right about where his career ERA is 4.18. In fact, at age 35, I would be happy with that and this year’s IP total – 193.

  8. Roger Dodger says:

    Ray, what is this negative nellies bit???

    Maybe we all need to look at the final record for the Los Angeles Dodgers in 2010. Below .500. It will take a lot more than Lilly to turn the corner.

    I watched Lilly pitch as a Dodger farm hand — and could not believe they let him get away then.

    So Ray, Dodger buddy — now get us a catcher, second-baseman, third baseman, left field (or centerfielder and move the other two around), another starter, and another starter, and at least three more pitchers for the pen that can pitch in the major leagues. Add to this — a bench that can do what it needs to do . . .

    Oh, yes, Cody Ross says again to the Dodgers — “Thanks for giving me a chance to play in the post season, by getting rid of me.”

    In case any of you forgot, Cody Ross was traded by the Dodgers to the Reds for Ben Kozlowski back in 2006. Big Ben came to the Dodgers on June 1, 2006. Just 4 months later, Oct 15, 2006, the Dodgers granted him Free Agency.

    Big Ben has pitched a total of 2 games and 10 innings in the Major Leagues — Dodgers really had the scouts working all night on that one.

    Oh yes, maybe Big Ben’s life time baseball memory is that he played in Hiroshima, Japan 2008-2009.

  9. Brooklyn Dodger says:

    MSTI voices the same concern I do, that “flyball and homer tendencies are scary.”

    Again, I have to see the numbers to decide in my own mind if it makes any sense. Is it a purely guaranteed contract, or does it include incentives?

    I concur with Badger. “It will take a lot more than Lilly to turn the corner.”

    Hope the Dodgers are considering long term deals to lock up Kershaw and Billingsley.

  10. Badger says:

    Negative nellie? We are back in jr. high school.

    If it happens, it could be a good signing as he eats up some innings with an ERA around 4. I wonder what kind of money we are talking about. Lilly is 35 and will probably start his downhill slide very soon. I wonder where Frankie McNonuts found the money. OK, like was mentioned by Roger, one down, seven or eight more to go.

    Who is Ben Kozlowski?

    Cody Ross? A career .265 hitter with a low OBP. He ain’t all that, but it sure looks like the gints have something going on. Everyone on that team is playing over their heads.

    The ump must have heard me. Now he wouldn’t know a strike if it bit him in the ass.

    Lilly. OK. I am not jumping for joy, but, ok. I am surprised he didn’t check the free agent market.

  11. Brooklyn Dodger says:

    Excuse me. Roger said it would take a lot more than Lilly. Dimentia strikes again, or is it just poor eyesight?


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