Categorized | Mark Timmons

April Fools Day may just last all of April

April Fools Day may just last all of April

Little did we know that when Joe Torre played the “We are sending you to AAA” April Fools Day joke on young Blake Dewitt,that jokes would continue to be played during the entire month of April 2010 by management and fans alike.

Padilla is the Opening Day pitcher – haha

Kuroda is just a #4 starter – haha

Heager is just a #5 starter – haha

Kershaw was told that adding another pitch would help him to throw more strikes in 2010 – haha

Weaver (last year’s swing man) is this year’s short man that puts out all of the fires and is averaging less than 2/3rds of an innings per appearance – haha

Monasterios is not the “mop up” man, the starters can’t go 5, but he is not allowed in a game – haha

Russ Ortiz – On paper he has replaced Belisario – haha

Ramon Ortiz – On paper he has replaced Kuo – haha

Sherrill – Ned gave him permission to be the body double for the Pillsbury dough boy – haha

Troncoso – He was promised that he would not be overused during 2010 and is already on pace for 100 innings – haha

Broxton – We all hoped that the obvious Broxton rules communicated by us last year would be received as the Gospel by Torre – haha

Furcal – We were told that his OBP would never go above .350 – haha

Kemp – We were told that he would continue to strike out less each successive year – haha

Ethier – We were told that he could hit left handed pitching – haha

Manny – We were told that he has his patience back and that would lead to more walks – haha

Loney – We were told that when he gained weight in order to hit for power that his average would not suffer – haha

Blake – We were told that he could not hit without a beard – haha

DeWitt – We were told that he spent much of the winter in AZ learning how to play second base – haha

Martin – We were told that he was injured – haha

Ausmus – We were told that he would last another year on the field as a player – haha

Belliard – We were told that HIS weight was a problem – haha

Joe – We were told that he would never chose the tortoise over the hare – haha

Frank – We were told that the team is solvent – haha

Can’t wait for the next joke that comes from management or the fans.  What have you guys heard?

“Better the last smile than the first laughter”

Written by Ken (photo by Mark)

About Ken

Ken is a professional working in multiple disciplines who has participated in various sports from elementary school through post intercollegiate level. He may be the only athlete in intercollegiate sports history to have started as both a middle blocker on an intercollegiate volleyball team and as a hook on an intercollegiate rugby team during the same season. He has been a Dodger fan since youth and now regularly watches over 150 Dodger games per season.

13 Responses to “April Fools Day may just last all of April”

  1. Bill Russell says:

    That was the Jack Daniel’s view or the JD View. Ha Ha

  2. Kevin says:

    what a stupid article. a bunch of crap mark really.

  3. mark says:


    Don’t shoot the messenger.

    I didn’t write it!

  4. Mark Timmons says:

    Kevin, Kpizzle, Mark’s a Dummy or Anonymous (whatever your name is this week),

    Don’t shoot the messenger.

    I didn’t write it!

    But, you generally don’t like what I write either.

  5. Mark Timmons says:

    … what are these push-ups for?

  6. Scoop/or Badger/or Rory says:

    Maybe we should re-visit all of this by the middle of June and see where we are.

    I have no problem with what was said, but it’s still too early to know anything – other than Frank is indeed in trouble and our starters don’t look ready to go 7. The rest of that stuff? eh, who knows – maybe maybe not.

    Mark, I hope you are getting your pecs in shape for those 500 you are going to owe me. Don’t think I am letting you off the hook.

  7. Scoop/or Badger/or Rory says:

    “what are these push-ups for?”

    to pay off the bet you are going to lose. And, they are for your benefit – you could use the work. You are getting soft dude, I can see it in your posts.

  8. Ken says:

    Hopefully Bills wil give up not more than 1 HR today and not more than 4 hits between Young, Johnson and Reynolds; and only 2 other hits to the rest of the Snakes.

    The AZ’s journeyman pitcher Lopez held Pit to 1 run; 1 double; and 2-7 RISP; 1 walk; 5 Ks; on 90 pitches in 6 innings last week. This kind of pitcher can beat an impatient team. Can we please watch the Disciples of Patience & No Choking Dodgers tonight and not their backsliden evil twins?

  9. mark says:


    Some say I am vitrolic!

    I know it’s a bet, but what was the bet?

  10. JDavis says:

    Boy that was a good read please write more

  11. Bootz says:

    Best post ever.

  12. Scoop/or Badger/or Rory says:

    95 wins. I have the under, you have the over.

    How soon we forget. Can’t say that I blame you though.

    Vitrolic? Don’t know the word. Vitiate? Maybe. Vituprative? Probably at work. Vitriolic? I doubt it. Virgule? Absolutely. Virile. In years past maybe. Viagra? Sure, why not. Take the 25 mg. to start with.


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