Los Angeles – In what has to be somewhat of a surprise, the Dodgers made two major announcements today. The first announcement has to do with the divorce proceedings of Frank and Jamie McCourt who agreed to a continuance of their May hearing:
The McCourt’s announced that they have resolved their personal issues and that Jamie will keep all personal property, vehicles, art and personal items. She also agreed to a $100,000,000.00 payment (payable over 5 years at 6% interest) from Frank McCourt, and assumes her role as CEO of the Dodgers Dream Foundation which will be funded by a $8 million a year grant from the Dodgers. In return, Frank McCourt gets sole ownership of the Dodgers and has agreed to hire all their sons as club executives.
Next, Ned Colletti took the dais and said that this is a big burden off the Dodgers and made the following announcement: “The Dodgers have just completed a blockbuster trade with the Seattle Mariners, who have fallen 26 games below .500. whereby Chris Withrow, Ethan Martin, Aaron Miller, Josh Lindblom, Scott Elbert, Casey Blake and James McDonald have been traded to the Blue Jays for Cliff Lee, Chone Figgins and Felix Hernandez. Hernandez has agreed to to a six-year/$125 million deal and Lee has agreed to a 4 year/$90 mil deal. Our lineup will look like this right now:
- Figgins 3B
- Furcal SS
- Kemp CF
- Manny LF
- Ethier RF
- Martin C
- Loney 1B
- DeWitt 2B
Our Rotation now looks like this as we ready for the stretch run:
Hernandez, Lee, Billingsley, Kershaw, Kuroda.
Colletti continued: “With the expiring contracts of Ramirez and Kuroda, we we able to take on more payroll since the ownership issue was resolved and our lenders opened their pockets again. If we had made all the dope-fiend moves suggested on LaDodgerTalk.com, we would have never had the flexibility to pull this off. Sure, we gave up a lot, but we are going to win this thing! I’m glad I listened to Mark Timmons….”