Categorized | Mark Timmons

Revolving Door

Revolving Door

 This team is far from needing rebuilding, but any good team needs to ”retool” every year.  Last year, the Phillies won the World Series with Pat Burrell in LF.  They evidently decided

Must Be A Padre Fan...

Must Be A Padre Fan...

 that he wasn’t the answer this year, so they signed a guy even older who ended up having his career year.   The Phillies may yet be sorry that they signed Raul Ibanez, but right about now, that move is looking pretty good.    They added Shane Victorino and Jason Werth in 2005 and 2007 as key pieces to the puzzle.  How did they get them?  No Big Blockbuster Deals, just incidental signings, which turned out to be pretty good.    I don’t think we need to rebuild – the core of the team is in place, but re-tool, we must!

I have taken the 40-Man Roster, plus some others who are technically not on it and divided them into three (3) groups:

  1. Core players who we need to keep – in BLUE;
  2. Players who we needs to keep under the right conditions – in BLACK; and
  3. Players we need to try and lose, trade, release or not sign – in RED.

It’s not hard to see that our core is young and will get even better.  I have Jon Broxton on the BLUE list (even though I have serious doubts about him), because we don’t currently have better options (that too could change).  Now, I am not saying that I wouldn’t trade Broxton or some of the others, but it would have to be a trade that we would make from a point of strength. 

I would not keep the following players:

  • Jon Garland – I think he will be too expensive for what he brings.  This is arguable however…
  • Guillermo Mota – Too expensive and I doubt he’ll have another year as good as this year.
  • Jason Schmidt – Stick a fork in him!
  • Eric Stults – No room and we have to let him walk.
  • Ronnie Belliard- Why when we have DeWitt?  I think DeWitt will surprise.  This year, he was a yo-yo (up and down, up and down) and that messed with his production.  I like him more than ever now, because he just shuts up and plays.
  • Casey Blake -  He surprised me this year and I realize anyone can have a bad series, but I’d rather have someone younger (and cheaper) or someone with more power like Adrian Beltre, whom I think would really have great year back in LA (especially if he remembers to wear his cup)  Maybe Cleveland would take him back.  Maybe KC (Close to home).  Maybe St. Louis…
  • Juan Castro- Hu is ready and so it Castro (ready to coach).
  • Mark Loretta – Thanks, but no thanks.
  • Jim Thome – Back to where they actually have  a DH.
  • Juan Pierre- I love Juan Pierre, but we have Raffy to lead-off and we need power in LF – Frank will have to pay something (hopefully not much) to whoever takes him.  He deserves to start and he’s a class act.
  • Manny Ramirez – The Big Dodger in the Sky won’t shine on us again until he is gone.
  • Jason Repko – He will get a raise, and we don’t need him.  He might benefit from a fresh start – He’s gone…

I would keep these player under certain conditions:

  • Eric Milton – If we can get him on another minor league deal.
  • Jeff Weaver- If he doesn’t command a multi-year deal at a larger salary.
  • Randy Wolf – Offer him arbitration and we either have him for another year or we get some nice compensation.
  • Brad Ausmus – If he wants and if he’ll do it for less than this year.
  • Vicente Padilla- Only is he’s cheap and with an incentive-laden deal.
  • Orlando Hudson- If he is forced to sign a 1-year incentive-laden deal again (for less than this year), otherwise let DeWitt, Hu and DeJesus compete for the job.

Keepers are plentiful:

  • I look for Chad Billingsleyto come back with a vengeance.  I don’t know what role his broken leg played, but it may have played a big role in his second half demise
  • For as maligned as Russell Martin was this year, his stats weren’t as bad as many other catchers.  Again, I think he rebound back to what he was, and better.  I still think he can play 2B or 3B on a full-time basis – keep that in mind!
  • Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp are on the road to stardom (and pretty far down that road) – Look for bigger and better things from them next year.  Kemp’s limit is the sky!
  • Clayton Kershaw will have his breakout year next year.  There’s no reason to think otherwise, as he has gotten better by the minute.
  • Scott Elbert, Brent Leach, CHarlie Haeger, Josh Lindblom, James McDonald, Travis Schlicting and some others in the minors are going to make a splash… soon
  • AJ Ellis can catch now at the major league level.  The only question is, “can he hit?”  Lucas Mayis acquiting himself very well and is back as a top prospect.
  • Chin lung-Hu, Ivan DeJesus, Jr. and Blake DeWitt can battle for the 2B job, but I prefer the power of DeWitt – This team needs power, which was part of the reason Belliard started in the playoffs.  Hu and DeJesus could be trade bait.
  •  I go back and forth on James Loney, but the guy is solid, a solid-citizen and great with the glove.  I’ll ride with Loney at 1B and I think you will see him hit .300 with 25 HR and 100 RBI’s very soon.  Adrian Gonzalez would be nice, but we’d have to give up too much.  We have 1B covered with Loney.  I would sign him long-term.
  • Rafael Furcalhad a bad year for whatever reason, then came on at the end and crashed in the NLCS.  Sometimes players just have bad years (can you say Jimmy Rollins?).  We have no better options.  We just have to hope that he can rebound to the Raffy we know. 
  • We have Xavier Paul and Jamie Hoffman as 4th OF candidates.  After missing most of the season with an infection, X. Paul is ready and could even win a spot in LF, if there was no other option.
  • I like Doug Mientkiewicz and I hope we can re-sign him.  He’s good for the team…
  • That leaves openings at 3B and LF.  I would make a run at Adrian Beltre for a 3-Year deal at $30 million, but that’s probably too low.
  • That would leave LF.  Is there a FREE AGENT on the market who can help us?  No way I would sign Matt Halliday or Jason Bay to a big deal.  Forget that stuff.  We need to find that guy who can have a career like Ibanez.  How about Hideki Matsui, Xavier Nady or Aubrey Huff for LF?   One of those guys will be a steal, but I’m not smart enough to know which one.
  • Ben Sheets is out there.  Could he be stolen?  Can he ever recover the promise he once showed?

 Here’s the Roster Breakdown

  40-Man Roster & A Few Others
  Pitchers B/T Ht Wt DOB  
  54 Ronald Belisario R/R 6-3 235 12/31/82  
  58 Chad Billingsley R/R 6-1 245 07/29/84  
  51 Jonathan Broxton R/R 6-4 295 06/16/84  
  57 Scott Elbert L/L 6-1 215 08/13/85  
  21 Jon Garland R/R 6-6 210 09/27/79  
  37 Charlie Haeger R/R 6-1 210 09/19/83  
  22 Clayton Kershaw L/L 6-3 225 03/19/88  
  56 Hong-Chih Kuo L/L 6-1 240 07/23/81  
  18 Hiroki Kuroda R/R 6-1 220 02/10/75  
   45 Brent Leach L/L 6-4 220 11/18/82  
  31 James McDonald L/R 6-5 195 10/19/84  
  28 Eric Milton L/L 6-1 220 08/04/75   
  59 Guillermo Mota R/R 6-5 235 07/25/73  
  44 Vicente Padilla R/R 6-2 220 09/27/77  
  49 Travis Schlichting R/R 6-4 215 10/19/84   
  Jason Schmidt R/R 6-5 220 01/29/73  
  52 George Sherrill L/L 6-0 230 04/19/77  
  50 Eric Stults L/L 6-1 220 12/09/79  
  38 Ramon Troncoso R/R 6-1 220 02/16/83  
  47 Cory Wade R/R 6-1 190 05/28/83  
  36 Jeff Weaver R/R 6-5 200 08/22/76  
  43 Randy Wolf L/L 5-10 200 08/22/76  
  Catchers B/T Ht Wt DOB  
  12 Brad Ausmus R/R 5-11 190 04/14/69  
  49 A.J. Ellis R/R 6-2 225 04/09/81  
  55 Russell Martin R/R 5-10 210 02/15/83  
  31 Lucas May R/R 5-11 195 10/24/84  
  Infielders B/T Ht Wt DOB  
  3 Ronnie Belliard R/R 5-10 210 04/07/75  
  23 Casey Blake R/R 6-2 205 08/23/73  
  14 Juan Castro R/R 5-11 190 06/20/72  
  33 Blake DeWitt L/R 5-11 205 08/20/85  
  15 Rafael Furcal S/R 5-8 185 10/24/77  
  60 Chin-lung Hu R/R 5-11 195 02/02/84  
  13 Orlando Hudson S/R 6-0 190 12/12/77  
  7 James Loney L/L 6-3 220 05/07/84  
  5 Mark Loretta R/R 6-0 200 08/14/71  
  26 Doug Mientkiewicz L/R 6-0 210 06/19/74  
  25 Jim Thome L/R 6-3 250 08/27/70  
  Outfielders B/T Ht Wt DOB  
  16 Andre Ethier L/L 6-2 210 04/10/82  
  27 Matt Kemp R/R 6-2 225 09/23/84  
  3 Xavier Paul L/R 5-9 205 02/25/85  
  9 Juan Pierre L/L 5-10 185 08/14/77  
  99 Manny Ramirez R/R 6-0 200 05/30/72  
  17 Jason Repko R/R 5-10 190 12/27/80  
             
   

Odds & Ends:

  • I told you 2 weeks ago that Kim Ng wouldn’t get the San Diego job and that Jed Hoyer would.  I had no statistics to back that up however.  ;)
  • Bud the Dud and the rest of the baseball morons need to wake up, realize this is the 21st Century, tie their horse and buggies to the hitchpost and vote in instant replay. 
  • There’s no pitchers who are Free Agents who are “all that.”

About Mark Timmons

When you see the invisible, you can do the impossible!

48 Responses to “Revolving Door”

  1. Harold says:

    Manny Ramirez has a full no trade clause in his contract. Like it or not he will be ours in 2010 with his dollars spread out until 2013.

    I think you are right about Manny Mark. Unfortunately he seems to be a spent man now. Whether it is the post steroid Manny we have or he is just on the downhill side of his career makes no difference. The difference is we now have a Manny, sans power, and unable to adjust to the inside pitch. Manny will be hard to move, regardless of contract security, because he has become a distraction again. Thankfully, Ned resisted the calls to sign him to a four year contract.

    Under different circumstances JP could be our fulltime LF. He does deserve to play everyday but we do need an uptick in power. I really like JP and truly hope he can play somewhere as a regular in 2010. Basball careers are too short to spend them sitting on the bench when signed to be a regular.

    GO DODGERS!!

  2. Badger says:

    I have no problems with most of what is posted here. Looks like a lot of thought went into it. I think it is way too early to really have an idea of what the Dodgers will do. For all we know, there may be a drastic payroll cut as the assets are divided up. It could be a Los Angeles Padres look anytime soon.

    I like JP too, and if we had more power from our other corner postions he would be a valuable player at the top of our lineup.

    I still have hope that Manny will address his issues this off season. He is still young enough that if he got a personal trainer that specializes in baseball work-outs (exercises ARE movement specific) and took the program seriously, he could get it back. Not steroid back, but there is no reason why he can’t hit .295 with 25 and 100 on this team. Lay off the balls off the plate and his OBP could be near .400 too. He needs people on base, and he needs protection and I think this team should provide that.

    “Clayton Kershaw will have his breakout year next year. There’s no reason to think otherwise, as he has gotten better by the minute.”

    Yeah, well, maybe. I look for him to do what most pitchers do, get stronger every year and be a real force when he is in his mid 20′s. Will that be at age 22? It sure could be because this player is special, but this year went pretty much exactly as I thought it would. We got 32 starts and 184 innings out of him and he looked spent at the end. You all know had it been my plan, he would have only had 150 innings before the play-offs.

    The only thing that surprised me about Blake was he was .013 above his career average. He is what he is, a solid defensive third baseman good clubhouse presence with modest offensive numbers. And now, he is a year older.

    I would like to see more power from Loney, but, I’ll take what he offers. He was one of the only guys who showed up in the NLCS.

    Amen on the instant replay. I just don’t understand how the umps can be so bad. Show some pride and get into shape and have your eyes checked. Some of those calls were ridiculously bad. Close plays are one thing, but geez, how do you miss them when they are not even close? And for years now, all of America is watching as one after another are missed. Get into the 21st century Buttrick. Use the technology.

  3. Ty says:

    I’d try to re-sign Belliard for a cheap one year deal. He’s a good guy to have off the bench. He can hit and he can play 1B, 2B and 3B. He’s got some pop and that’s always good off the bench. He can play vs lefties with DeWitt sitting.

    Haeger? You really love your knuckleballers huh?

    I also like Mientkiewicz. He can play 1B and the corner OF spots. We will need a lefty PH and he can be that for the team. It was a shame that he was hurt so early in the year. I think he could really help us out next year. Loretta was our “big bat” off the bench this year. That was a shame

  4. lawdog says:

    In legal terms, the Dogs paid 45 million dollars for 2 years of Manny after getting 2 months for free in 08. They didn’t know Manny was juiced and didn’t factor that very relevant information into the equation. Manny screwed the Dodgers. In any other business transaction it would be called fraud. We’re stuck with him for another year. Since we already got snookered in 09, I’d like us to have someone more akin to the player we had in ’08 in 10.

    This whole hulabaloo over ‘roids is overblown. There are good medical reasons to prescribe them in certain situations. A person who takes them risks damaging themselves over time and they should be banned for that reason. That and the fact that players that don’t want to damage themselves with steroids are pressured to use them to compete.

    In Manny’s case, he’s been using them for years most likely. I just want the Dogs to get their money’s worth in the last year of his contract. If he uses one more time in the winter to get that psychological edge, who’s getting hurt? Whatever damage he’s done to his body is done. And the Dodgers deserve getting quid pro quo for their 45 million.

    He’d do better using amphetamine. The league doesn’t test for it so he won’t get caught. The only danger is that a 68 year old coach might mock him and he could quite possibly attack said coach like a rabid gopher. ;-)

  5. Kay in L.A. says:

    Gonzo, re your remarks two days ago that Shamie may have consorted with “Steinberg.” Did you mean Steiner, the announcer? Anyway, I also picked up on that quote from Fwank’s letter. I have very queasy feelings about the off-season and the team’s future, but not only due to that.

  6. Kay in L.A. says:

    Kinda too bad about Casey Blake, but I must agree he is expendable. I’m glad you put Big Jon back in the BLUE. He had a good record during the season and that one bad post-season inning. He does however leave us in suspense too often for too long sometimes.

    I like what Wolf did for us this year. What do you foresee for Kuroda?

  7. Ken says:

    Keep Manny, Blake, Belliard, and Pierre temporarily as trade bait.

    Sign Padilla only if Bowa is staying. Sign Weaver and Milton as long relievers only if the long relievers are going to be used wisely next year. Offer arbitration to Wolf. Bench coach – Ausmus or Wallach.

    Skeeter Martin may have gone back to chew at the end of the season thus improving his concentration. A legitimate patient for Lawdog’s cure.

    Xavier Nady if he is healthy.

    In a real business, management has to decide whether to Buy versus Build. management needs to learn how to build talent during this off season. Management needs to purge some of the coaches and trainers and have a new training program for the players. The players should all be in AZ half of the off season to receive instruction regarding weight loss, endurance, skills, new skills, etc. Management needs to build mental toughness into some of the players, better analytical skills regarding why they have lost it and how to get it back, less arrogance regarding not listening to coaches, how to watch films, how to write and read scouting reports, and how coaches should rest the players during the season.

  8. SteveM says:

    Here’s my shopping list for this off-season:
    1. Sign Chone Figgins (Type B)- He’s the leadoff hitter we need. The benefits are multiple and mutual. This signing allows him to move to his more natural position of 2B – thus solving two of our problem areas offensively and defensively. A huge side benefit is we can then move Furcal to #7 or #8, where he has been very productive over his career and the reduced ABs will keep him fresher for the post-season.
    2. Go get a current ace. If Halliday is still available, make that trade. With a new GM in place in Toronto, maybe we can finally get something done. Guidelines need to be followed: Billingsley, Kershaw and Broxton are untouchables. Let the Blue Jays stock their system with any other 5-6 players, 3-4 if they insist on including Wells in the deal.
    3. Let’s finally get a legitimate backup catcher and limit Russell Martin to 125 games and 450 ABs. Maybe Miguel Olivo or Jason Kendall (both are Type B), or maybe somehow we can bring in Bengie Molina (Type A) if he’s promised 300-350 ABs. The main thing is to rest Martin, especially early in the season.
    4. Lastly, re-sign all of the following: Padilla, Garland, Weaver, Wolf and Mientkiewicz. Also sign long-term: Kemp, Ethier, Loney, Kershaw and Billingsley (I think that we should avoid arbitration with our future superstars/legends). All of these guys should be lifelong Dodgers. Get R done!

  9. GoNzO says:

    Yeah Kay I said Steinburg the PR guy, but I was wrong about who she was creeping with. She’s apparently dating the heir to the Pilsbery fortune.

    http://www.tmz.com/2009/10/25/romance-in-frank-mccourt-jamie-mccourt-jeff-fuller-los-angeles-dodgers-divorce-separation-dating/

    Mark I haven’t had time to call you, but I will try to give you a call tomorrow at around 10 am pacific time.

  10. lawdog says:

    If you get Benji Molina you might as well trade Martin. You can’t have 2 #1s.

    • Ken says:

      Martin could move to 2nd like Biggio, a future hall of famer, did for Houston. Athletic catchers should not be limited to playing 1B or 3B.

  11. Mark Timmons says:

    Martin is one of the top 5 Defensive Catchers in Baseball. He’s had one bad offensive year, and is 10 years younger than Molina who has a carrer OB% of .308.

    Martin had a horrible year and his OB% was .358. Molina never had 500 AB until he was 33 years old. Martin averages 500 AB’s. Molina will cost a lot more and will be 35 next year.

    We want Molina why?

    I too happen to think that Martin could be an excellent 2B, but I do like Figgins there too. I forgot about him.

  12. DRomo says:

    http://www.tmz.com/2009/10/27/mccourt-911-drama/

    This is getting ugly!

    Back to the actual team. I like Felipe Lopez at 2B. He is a switch hitter and will likely be cheaper than Figgins. Although you can’t go wrong with Figgins…remember he and Pierre are great friends, maybe we get recruiting help from our best bench player?

    I wouldn’t be suprised to see a guy like Furcal moved if we do land a speedy leadoff type player also. Furcal was a bad re-signing. I love the guy, I think he is a fun guy to watch when he is healthy , but he is not that guy anymore. Sure he shows flashes of that, but he is a shell of his former self.

    • Ken says:

      She trepasses on his property with her ???? and she screams because he caught her (them)? Let the Games begin (continue). Mark – you may be happy to know that there is a litigation attorney in California whose last name is Jacka.

  13. Mark Timmons says:

    Q. Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

    A. Take your foot off his head.

  14. Mark Timmons says:

    The devil visited a lawyer’s office and made him an offer. “I can arrange some things for you, ” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you’ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, and their children’s souls rot in hell for eternity.”

    The lawyer thought for a moment. “What’s the catch?” he asked.

  15. Mark Timmons says:

    Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called “Divorced Barbie”?

    Yeah, it comes with half of Ken’s things and alimony.

  16. Mark Timmons says:

    An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. “Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.”

    At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.”

    “Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor, “I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000.”

    The lawyer was aghast. “I’m ashamed of both of you,” he exclaimed. “I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000.

  17. Mark Timmons says:

    At the United Way in a fairly small town a volunteer worker noticed that the most successful lawyer in the whole town hadn’t made a contribution. This guy was making about $600,000 a year so the volunteer thought, “Why not call him up?”

    He calls up the lawyer.

    “Sir, according to our research you haven’t made a contribution to the United Way, would you like to do so?”

    The lawyer responds, “A contribution? Does your research show that I have an invalid mother who requires expensive surgery once a year just to stay alive?”

    The worker is feeling a bit embarrassed and says, “Well, no sir, I’m…”

    “Does your research show that my sister’s husband was killed in a car accident? She has three kids and no means of support!”

    The worker is feeling quite embarrassed at this point. “I’m terribly sorry…”

    “Does your research show that my brother broke his neck on the job and now requires a full time nurse to have any kind of normal life?”

    The worker is completely humiliated at this point. “I am sorry sir, please forgive me…”

    “The gall of you people! I don’t give them anything, so why should I give it to you!”

  18. Mark Timmons says:

    Don’t get me started…

  19. lawdog says:

    Whoaa!! Did anybody get the license number of that truck that just ran me over?

    A trial lawyer, a rabbi and a Hindu businessman were hunting one afternoon and became lost. At sunset they happened upon a farm and asked the farmer if they could stay the night. The farmer remarked that it would be alright, but just for one night! He then informed them that he only had two beds. One of them would have to spend the night in the barn.

    First, the Hindu businessman volunteered for the barn and went out only to return a few minutes later remarking that he tried to bunk down but noticed there were cattle in the barn and he just couldn’t do it. Then the rabbi volunteered but was gone even less time before returning to the farmhouse pale white. I can’t he exclaimed. There are pigs in the barn and I’m strictly kosher…

    At this point the trial lawyer jumped up and calling both of his friends “scared little wusses” he stormed out to the barn and bunked down.

    30 seconds later there was a huge commotion outside the farmhouse and the farmer, rabbi and Hindu businessman all ran out to see what had happened and there, surrounding the house, were all the farm animals from the barn.

    Top that amigos (and amiga)!

  20. Kay in L.A. says:

    Amigo, I do not remember jokes well but maybe I could scare up a blonde joke.

    Before I do that, will no one here share their thoughts about Kuroda’s future with the Dodgers? Remember Hiroki, the guy who nearly died on the mound?

    Ken, this I like: “Management needs to purge some of the coaches and trainers and have a new training program for the players. The players should all be in AZ half of the off season to receive instruction regarding weight loss, endurance, skills, new skills, etc. Management needs to build mental toughness into some of the players, better analytical skills regarding why they have lost it and how to get it back, less arrogance regarding not listening to coaches,”

    This leads me to my next recurring thought. I am offended, even disgusted, hearing Torre in recent days congratulating himself for getting the Dodgers to the post-season and that should suffice. Everyone should be happy with Mr. Mediocrity. “Be proud” and all that similar horse pucky. Perhaps the Dodgers succeeded in spite of you, Mr. Bigelow.

    Either the championship matters or it doesn’t. The question is, to whom.

    Second, I dwell on, out of 365 days of the year, the McShamies make their “announcement” on the eve of the NLCS…. still has me shaking my head. Can’t they go to another country and do this divorce thing? Just go away.

  21. Kay in L.A. says:

    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

    ‘Oh, I really liked it,’ she replied, ‘especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.’

    Dumbfounded, her date asked, ‘What do you mean?’

    ‘Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like…Helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents!!!!

  22. Badger says:

    “Can’t they go to another country and do this divorce thing? Just go away.”

    Yeah, like Boston. Take it back to where it was spawned. And stay there.

  23. lawdog says:

    A trial lawyer, a rabbi and a priest were fishing of the Florida Keys. After a full day they started back but ran out of fuel while they were still a quarter mile from the shore. In a few minutes the boat was surrounded by sharks. The rabbi and the priest were petrified and started loudly lamenting and praying to God for deliverance. When their prayers just brought more sharks they fell silent and started weeping, feeling sure they would perish in the night.

    Then the trial lawyer jumped, cursed them both for being “little girly men”, ripped off his clothes and plunged, head first, into the ocean. He then began to swim towards shore and all the sharks lined up on either side of him, making a lane for him to traverse to the beach.

    When he returned later with the Coast Guard to rescue the priest and the rabbi, the rabbi asked him why the sharks acted the way they did, forming a lane and refusing to attack him when he was in the water.

    The trial lawyer just shrugged and said: “Professional courtesy.”

  24. DRomo says:

    A little boy with a speech impediment is trick or treating dressed as a pirate..Guy answers the door…
    Boy:bick-a-beat
    guy:what?????
    boy:bick-a-beat!
    guy:ah you mean trick-or-treat..
    boy:yea! bick-a-beat!
    guy:what are you?
    boy: I’m a birate!
    guy: a pirate?
    boy:yea…a birate!
    guy:well if you are a pirate where are your bucaneers?
    boy: Right here on my buckin head!!! where is yours?!?!

  25. Kay in L.A. says:

    ‘Dat funny, Womo.

    :)

  26. Blue Haze says:

    A traveler is driving through a small town and decides to stop and have a drink at a local bar. Inside the bar, while he is drinking at the bar, he notices a guy over in a booth, crying softly to himself. He decides to walk over and see if he can cheer the guy up. The crying man opens up and starts spilling his guts to the traveler.

    Man: Did you notice that big beautiful library as you drove thru town?

    Traveler: Yes I did, it is gorgeous and huge library.

    Man: I paid to have that built for this city. You would think people would show their gratitude and thank me and call to me “there goes a Great Leader in our town”, but no, they don’t ever say that to me.
    Did you see that High School Football Stadium downtown as you drove thru?

    Traveler: Yes, I did, I thought that was a university stadium, did you build that also for the city?

    Man: I sure did, gave all the money and supervised the construction myself, I went to that High School and I wanted to do something extra special for it. You would think the community would show their gratitude and say “there goes a great suppporter of education” whenever they saw me. but no, they never say that to me.

    Traveler: Wow, that’s a bummer, I fell sorry for you.

    Man: Here’s what gets me, I do all these things and spend all of my own money and no recognizes me for all of that time, money and effort to help the city. Then I screw just one goat…

  27. lawdog says:

    Bob? Surely you want a piece of this. Hurl your best lawyer jokes upon my head! It’s all in fun.

  28. Ken says:

    What happens when an attorney takes Viagra? He gets taller.

  29. SteveM says:

    What is this? ComedyCentral.com?

    Back to baseball, I mentioned B. Molina as a possible BACKUP. He’s 35, can’t be too many teams looking to sign him long-term. Why not offer him 3 years to backup Martin? Promise him 350 ABs in 2010, then 300 in 2011 and 200-250 in 2012.

    Martin needs the extra rest and Molina gets a decent contract. I’m tired of getting nominal backups like Ausmus and Leiberthal. Molina can add punch while affording Martin crucial days off in April and May.

    Oh and by the way:
    A secretary goes into her boss’ office and asks, “May I use your dic-ta-phone?”
    He answers, “No. Use your finger like everyone else.”

    • Kay in L.A. says:

      Mark likes AJ Ellis for catcher and so do I. He’s already a Dodger and I think was briefly added to the end of season roster.

  30. Ken says:

    If Jamie goes to the Washington State v. UCLA football game which side of the filed will she sit on? The Washington State Cougars side?

  31. SteveM says:

    What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
    Their personalities.

    What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
    A good start.

    What’s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
    One’s a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger; the other is a fish.

    What’s the difference between a lawyer and God?
    God doesn’t think he’s a lawyer.

    I’m out. Go Dodgers!

  32. DRomo says:

    What did Jesus tell the Cubs before he died?

    Don’t do anything until I get back!

  33. Ken says:

    The more information that more ons put in divorce pleadings the faster the revolving door will spin with auditors. The most recent pleadings scream for a visit from the IRS. Like I said they should have gone the collaborative route. I thought that Jamie was an attorney, but she appears to know very little about labor law. If she does not know much about labor law then what worth is she to the Dodgers anyway?

    “As CEO, Jamie McCourt will oversee the strategic direction and decisions of the organization, focusing on the development of relationships throughout the Dodgers community and Major League Baseball, according to a news release.” Press Enterprise March 17, 2009

    And this was worth $2,000,000. Give all of the players big raises! Manny, Garland, Pierre, Penny, Louiza, and Andruw Jones are all underpaid.

  34. Kay in L.A. says:

    I think it’s funny her lover is (or was) Director of Protocol.

    Terrific weather we’re having in L.A.!! Had fun cleaning up this morning, fallen leaves, twigs, branches and things that fell over. Most exciting was the bee hive that landed in the front yard, two slabs of honeycomb, lots of dead bees and some dying bees clinging to the wax and honey. Who knows where it blew in from?

    World Series Game 1 today, 7:57 p.m. Eastern.
    http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20091027&content_id=7558028&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb

  35. DRomo says:

    http://bases.nbcsports.com/2009/10/report-manny-planning-to-exercise-20-million-option-stay-with-dodgers.html.php

    THIS JUST IN: MANNY WILL OPT TO STAY WITH THE DODGERS!

    Also, water is wet! WOW!

    What a guy!

  36. Mr. Mike says:

    For the latest in the Dodgers offseason doings add the TMZ to your favorites. Only in Hollywood. I DO NOT want to hear about Franks sex life. Yuck !

  37. lawdog says:

    What about Fred’s?

  38. lawdog says:

    Yikes! No wonder Frank’s in trouble. Jamie describes her new lover as a 24 hour driver. No amount of Viagra would make it possible for Frank to keep up with that. Not at his age. ;)

  39. DRomo says:

    Lawdog…I am laughing to hard at work right now!!

    “Jamie describes her new lover as a 24 hour driver”

    Awesome!!!

    Also Mr. Mike, You are right on. Last offseason I was glued to MLBTRADERUMORS.Com this year it looks like it will be TMZ! WTF?

  40. Blue Haze says:

    LDawg and Romo: It wasn’t “24 hour driver” it is “24 hour muff-diver”.

    This is going to be the perfect Hollywood Dodger Ownership, I can’t wait for the “E True Hollywood Story” to come out.

    I hope that Russ Martin or a player is involved in a love triangle with Jamie and Frank, that would be perfect. No wait, Manny in a love triangle, NICE!

  41. Badger says:

    Jamie has a lover?

    Isn’t she still married?

    How long this bin goin’ on?

  42. Blue Haze says:

    Since the beginning of time, Badger.

  43. GoNzO says:

    Haven’t posted in a while, crazy things happening with the Dogs. I have a joke too:

    Three cowboys sitting around a campfire, one from canada another from the US and the last one from mexico. They were trying to outbrag each other. The Canadien cowboy told the other two how the day before he wrestled and dominated a bull with his bare hands. The American cowboy told the others how two days prior he saw a rattlesnake picked it up and bit its head off. The Mexican cowboy knowing he couldn’t match their stories kept quiet….slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

    BUTA PSSSHSSSSSSSSSSSHSHSHSHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I’ll be here all day!!!

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